Marriage Counseling Is Work
The odds that you will not have any problems in your marriage are pretty insignificant, in fact it’s pretty much a given that you and your spouse will run into some type of issue at some point. It could be a disagreement about money or a significant purchase, or maybe there was even dishonesty or infidelity involved. When problems like these occur you have one of two options available to you. You can choose to dissolve the marriage and begin the process of divorce, or you can choose to fight for your marriage and try to work things out. If you decide to get help through counseling you must be prepared to work at it because marriage counseling is work.
Whether or not you are successful depends on a number of important factors. What was the nature of your problem? Can the problems that the two of you had be worked out? When considering the problems that you and your spouse are facing in your marriage, getting a fresh perspective on the situation can make a big difference. The question now becomes, “Are you willing to do the work?” and finding a knowledgeable counselor, and having problems that can be worked out.
Of course being committed to working out your problems is the most important part of the reconciliation process. Learning to trust again after dishonesty or infidelity is a long and difficult process. Finding common ground on issues about money and spending requires the ability to compromise, but still get your point across. Realizing what your problems are is one thing, but actually working toward fixing them is another.
Although the difficulties in repairing a damaged marriage are numerous, there are significant rewards to doing so. In all likelihood you and your spouse love each other still, you may have children, and you have built a life together. Depending upon the specific problems, it is very likely that the difficulties you face in fixing things is greatly outweighed by the benefits. With the obvious difficulties that you and your spouse will be facing, your best chance for success will be to look into marriage counseling. Marriage counseling is work but well worth it if you are successful in saving your marriage.
Seeking out marriage counseling is not a sign of a marriage failing, it is a sign of two people who want to work things out. Marriage counselors can provide a neutral point of view and help you and your spouse to find common ground and salvage your marriage. Does marriage counseling work? It’s not a simple answer, and it’s one that each couple must ask themselves. The success or failure of marriage counseling is more dependent upon the willingness of the couple to put in effort than it is on the counselor you work with because marriage counseling is work.
This doesn’t mean that a poor counselor will be helpful. In fact the opposite is true. If you and your spouse are considering marriage counseling, then your marriage is obviously important to you. Do a little homework and find a marriage counselor with the experience and skills it will take to help you to succeed in saving your marriage and be prepared to work because marriage counseling is work.
Anything worth fighting for is worth some work. Whether it’s changing the way you think about things or the way you react to things and sometimes even your response and learning how to talk respectfully to each other. With a little luck, a lot of effort, and a good marriage counselor, you and your spouse can rediscover the love that you have for one another.